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Thank you to the reader who sent me an email asking me what I thought about the PA Liquor Control Board advertisements above.
This is what I think…
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I want you to focus on the phrase “bad decisions” in the first advertisement.
Next I want you to focus on the phrase, “And now…” in the second advertisement.
If you put those two concepts together you get something like….
“If you make bad decisions, then you will get raped.”
Moral of the story: Ladies, if you don’t want to get raped, stop making bad decisions.
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Bad Decisions:
1. Wearing a short skirt.
2. Walking in high heels.
3. Smiling and flirting.
4. Having a drink.
5. Accepting a date.
6. Giving a guy your number.
7. Not being a virgin.
8. Making eye contact with a man.
9. Walking to your car alone at night.
10. Being a woman and leaving your house.
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And Now:
1. you’re raped.
2. you’re assaulted.
3. you’re missing.
4. you’re hit.
5. you’re insulted.
6. you’re lost.
7. you’re damaged.
8. you’re crying.
9. you’re ashamed.
10. you’re dead.
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This bogus cause-and-effect formula has been perpetuated in our society as a legitimate means of preventing rape.
If you’re hyper-vigiliant, you’ll be safe.
If not, you’ll be sorry.
I remember attending a self-defense class in college and hearing the instructor say…without an ounce of irony in his voice, “If you’re smart, you’ll never have to use any of the moves I teach you today.”
If I’m smart?
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Let me say this loud and clear.
Women are not the problem.
Our intellect is not the problem. Our clothes are not the problem. Our friends are not the problem. Our desire to go out and have a good time is not the problem.
Rapists are the problem.
The only person who made a “bad decision” was the rapist.
Don’t give us laundry list of things we should avoid. Give men laundry lists of things they should avoid. Namely raping women.
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And another thing…
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The first thing I thought when I saw these ads was, “This is why we need women in positions of power.”
If a woman was in charge of this campaign, I guarantee you these advertisements would never have seen the light of day. I’d be surprised if a woman was even present at any of the meetings. Even if there was a woman at the meeting, I wonder if she was the only woman in the room.
I wonder if she felt comfortable speaking her mind in a room full of domineering men with their minds made up. Even if she did speak up, I wonder if she was told what so many of us are told when we are the only woman in the room.
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Lighten up. Take a joke. Calm down.
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And this is why I won’t lighten up. Take a joke. Or calm down.
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Because this victim-blaming shit is actually perpetuating the problem.
Women are not reporting rape, because they don’t want their private lives drudged up and paraded around as justification for being raped.
And every time a woman doesn’t report, a rapist goes on raping.
And more women are effected.
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Ladies we need to get into the room.
The Make-Shit-Happen room.
And we need to encourage and mentor other women to get in the room too.
Because our opinions aren’t just helpful. They’re necessary.
We need to get into the room and start making changes so advertisements like this don’t continue to get made…and messages like this don’t continue to have effect.
Because if you think the message behind these advertisements doesn’t filter into the bills that are created…the legislation that is passed..and the laws that are followed. You’re mistaken.
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So here’s a call to all the ladies in the place with style and grace…
let’s get in the room.
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Lift As You Climb like,
Me
